The Blog ofMyssie Cardenas-Barajas, REALTOR® GRI®, e-Pro®, AHWD®, MRP®

Domestic Abuse: How to Get Away and Where to Go Next

Domestic Abuse: How to Get Away and Where to Go Next


If you are experiencing a domestic violence emergency, call theNational Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE or dial 911 for immediate assistance.


Choosing your REALTOR® incorporates various factors… and not just about how much the agent charges in commission. A much larger factor is the TRUST you have in your REALTOR® especially if you find yourself in a situation like this.


I was asked not too long about about this subject so when a fellow blogger asked if I needed her assistance on writing a blog about this, I jumped on it and am very grateful for her offering. Please read and share if you know of someone who needs this in their lives now.


Domestic violence is a major issue, not just in America, but across the globe. And sadly, many women – and men – don’t realize they’re in an abusive relationship. If your partner continually discourages you from seeing friends and family, controls who you see, what you do, what you wear, and where you go, or prevents you from pursuing employment or educational opportunities, these are are flags to be considered.


Exiting an abusive relationship


You don’t have to live in an abusive situation. But the thought of leaving can be frightening. stresses thatno one should feel unsafe. If you’re ready to make an exit plan, first identify a safe place to go. Establish a code word you can use with friends and family to signal that you’re in danger. When it’s time to leave, make sure you have an extra set of car keys and know the number of a local shelter where you can find respite until you can get on your feet.


If possible, gather your important documents including birth certificates, insurance cards, and identification for both you and your children. Plan to leave when your abuser is not home and do not leave any indication as to where you’ve gone. Leave your cell phone behind as your abuser could have installed apps that track your location. If you don’t have money or a place to go, you can take up temporary shelter in a location specifically designed for victims of domestic violence.


When it’s time to move on


It may not feel like it now, but there will come a time when you are ready mentally, physically, and financially to move on with your life. This may not happen for months after you escape, but it will happen.


The hardest part of the transition is the physical act of moving, especially if you shared a home with your abuser and he or she remains. You may have to return back to the home to gather your belongings. If you filed a restraining order, you may be able to get police assistance to enter the home for this purpose. You will benefit on this day from hiring a moving company, which will serve as a buffer between you and your abuser. Make them aware of the situation.


No matter how much time has passed, you will likely always fear that your abuser is watching you. And, unfortunately, real estate transactions arepublic record. This means your abuser may be able to find out where you’ve moved. But, according to real estate attorney Isaac Benmergui,there are ways to purchase a new home without putting your name on public record. Buying a new home is part of the healing process and one your abuser doesn’t have to take away from you.


Begin your home search by targeting areas where you will feel safe. Start by looking at local listings and cross-referencing areas of interest to crime maps and proximity to services that make you feel safer, such as a police station or fire department. Your online search can help you determine which neighborhoods offer the best value in your price range. Homes for sale in McAllen have an average listing price of $219K. Don’t forget to check which school your potential new home is zoned for and check with administrators regarding safety measures they will take to prevent your children from being taken from school by a noncustodial parent.


Domestic violence is a horrible thing but it is not something you have to live with your entire life. No matter your situation, you can leave. There are resources available and a support network you could have never imagined on the other side of abuse.

Image via Pixabay


Thank you,

Nora Hood